I have a confession to make. I am an addict, enslaved to Cheetos. Anyone who’s willingly dunked their face in a wide-open bag of Cheetos will understand the sheer thrill of inhaling the scent of chemical flavouring.It is a horrible addiction to have, because no one wants to admit their world is ruled by Chester the Cheetah, but there you have it. It could’ve been coke. Crack. MDMA. Bath salts. Heroin. Prescription painkillers. Something, anything more high-brow, something with cachet, but no. It just had to be an easily accessible bag of cheese curls with orange powder. It’s got the same after-effects – the aftermath has me curled in a ball, hating myself and wanting to throw up. Curse thee, o fates! Curse thee, o willpower, that thou shouldst desert me in my time of need!